Why don't these things have remotes?

And I thought getting married would magnify my sin.

As I was sitting in the nursery at church this Sunday (instead of being in the actual service due to my relentlessly crying infant), irony hit me like an...iron fist. It was my sin. My hurt feelings. My attitude. I was angry. Elsie didn't seem to realize how much I wanted to be in the service; how I had carefully scheduled the entire day leading to the 5pm service so that all her needs would be freshly met going into the service. No interruptions. But of all the places to lose my patience, and of all the reasons to lose it, and of all the things to lose it with: this precious gift from God.

It wasn't really until Cameron came out after me that I realized how sick my heart was. He came with no reservations asking if he could take her so I could go in. Volunteering to give up what I was so shamefully lusting after. What I was so bitter about. Ugh.

Lord, forgive me for my impatience and ungrateful, sick heart. Remind me that I am not in control, and that it is okay not to be. Thank you for revealing my sin - please reveal yourself to me in spite of it.